Thursday thoughts

I lived on 700 calories a day as a teen. I drank Diet Mt Dew for breakfast and ate apples and Lean Cuisines and figured I was being healthy enough because, you know, fruit's good for you.

Later I remember swapping lunches for iced lattes, skipping breakfast altogether, and exercising hours each day to burn off the crazy feelings inside.

Later still it was hiding in the closet with candy bars, shoving food in my face to try and feel better, and overeating, trying desperstely not to go back to restricting my eating.

It's only been over the past few years that I've developed what I'd consider healthy eating habits. Veggies, fruits, lean proteins, complex carbs, healthy fats, plenty of water. Meal plans and grocery lists. Choosing food as fuel ❤️. Choosing love over self hate.

I still have times where I hide in the closet with chocolate, or eat too much when I'm stressed, or forget to eat veggies for days at a time. I still use my shake as a way to fill in those nutritional gaps when that happens. And I still go through periods of sugar addiction and self loathing. I'm human and definitely not perfect.

But I gotta say, it feels pretty good to be on the "other side" of an eating disorder. And it feels damn good to know that I've learned how overcome something that felt so shameful for so long.

My hope is that continuing to share my own story will inspire others to share too. There's a power in knowing you aren't the only one, and a power in realizing that you can acknowledge your past without dwelling on it or repeating it ❤️.

If you have a history of a behavior you don't love, please remember it's a part of you but it isn't all of you. You aren't a victim. You're a warrior.

Choose to love yourself, and choose to let others love you ❤️. You're worthy and deserving of all the good that's in your life! And if you ever need someone to chat with, know that I'm here for you, sister!

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